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Knee-Jerk Hyperbole and Effusive Superlatives

Knee-Jerk Hyperbole and Effusive Superlatives

In my opinion, this is the last weekend of legitimate football this NFL season. Championship Weekend. You’d think that Super Bowl weekend holds more significance to me…but it doesn’t.  To me, Super Bowl Sunday is an overhyped concoction of exaggerated media coverage and belabored storylines. I am not a big fan of the two week break between Championship Weekend and Super Bowl Sunday. I can take only so much analysis. More often than not, Super Bowls have failed to live up to the hype (the two most recent Super Bowls notwithstanding).

Anyways, in light of my pleasantly mediocre results from last week’s picks for the Divisional Playoffs, I’m going to make picks for this weekend’s pair of championship games as well.

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Smoochin’ the Lips of Mediocrity

Smoochin’ the Lips of Mediocrity

Smoochin’ the lips of mediocrity, in my composition book, should be received with an ear deafening crescendo of applause.  I went 2-2 in my NFL Divisional Playoff picks.  Unfortunately, as I alluded to in my last post, I feared that picking the Falcons to win would foreshadow a Packers upset.  An infallible prognosticator I certainly am not.  Heartbreaking as that loss was, consolation was warmly received in a Jets upset of the New England Patties.  As I explained in brief detail previously, Boston fans…are…well…just downright indecent.  A few friends of mine are hardcore Boston fans.  They’re alarmingly infatuated with all things Boston sports.  Anyhoot, rather than diluting their tears in an unsavory mound of humble pie, they’ve taken the defensive route of teetering on the seesaw of denial.  I understand the recent hatred between the New York Jets and the Patriots…but…

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Undeterred by an Impotence of Intelligence and Significant Lack of Foresight

Undeterred by an Impotence of Intelligence and Significant Lack of Foresight

I’m going to do something I’ve only attempted a few times on this blog:  predict the outcome of a sports event.  The last time I did this, I tried to predict the top 10 picks of the 2006 NFL Draft.  How brilliant were my predictions?  Ummm….what had happened was…I mean…ya never know…umm…flip happens…ya know?  My predictions didn’t exactly lather themselves up with the soap of profound accuracy.  I only predicted 2 out of the top 10 picks correctly.  I had Matt Leinart going to the Tennessee Titans (mostly because of the Norm Chow-USC connection) and I had Jay Cutler being drafted by the Arizona Cardinals (among a slew of other asinine conjectures).

Nevertheless, undeterred by an impotence of intelligence and significant lack of foresight, I set my sights on the the 2011 NFL Divisional Playoffs.  At least I ain’t nearly as inept a soothsayer as my friend The Hamster who predicted that the Seattle Seahawks would get anally raped by at least 2 touchdowns last week against the Saints.  Now…everyone and their 3rd cousin’s sister were predicting similar outcomes for that game, so I’ll dice that man some slack.  However…

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