Enlightened Times of Juno Email

Enlightened Times of Juno Email

Buckle your chastity belts folks…I’m about to penetrate the born-again virginity of randomness like no other before.

Here I am, a few days away from finishing another 3 week stint out in the Middle Easy. Prior to this visit, I had been back in the States 2 weeks following a previous 3 week stint out in the Easy. Needless to say, the past few months have been a blur. It’s difficult to explain…but…I feel very little when I travel nowadays. Before, I’d feel at least somewhat homesick or at the least frustrated by a prolonged business trip, but not so much now. I’ve been out of the country for 6 of the last 8 weeks and I only recently (as of a few days ago) started to feel homesick. It isn’t as though I love traveling or that I hate home…it’s just that…when I travel, I generally just adapt. What I mean by that is that when I’m traveling, I don’t necessarily feel like I’m in another country or city. I just feel like…well…like I’m in a slightly different place with slightly different folks. It’s difficult to explain exactly what I mean. Anyways, a simpler explanation would probably be that I’ve traveled enough over the years to have gotten accustomed to the nuances of it. I guess I’ve just grown accustomed to being away from home.

Anyways, onwards we trek towards the path of random thoughts.

Considering the fact that there are only about a handful of English language TV channels out here at the hotel that I’m staying at, I’ve been forced to relegate my TV viewing to such rubbish Americana like…the…Disney Channel. So, the rotation I’ve sadly made a daily part of my life out here is The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and Hannah Montana. There are a few others that I’ve ashamedly watched an episode or two of, but the two I have the most experience of watching are the two above. Actually, the only show that I actually find somewhat entertaining and only marginally repulsive is Zack and Cody. That show…actually…isn’t all that bad. Surprisingly witty and entertaining. As for Hannah Montana…that show gets my Wiggity Wiggity Wack Seal of Disapproval. I don’t know how anyone who watches that show doesn’t get annoyed by Miley Cyrus’ character (Hannah Montana). How is the show…and more depressingly, its main character so popular? There are only two entertaining cats in that whole show: Hannah’s brother and the little Hispanic kid named Rico. I’m telling you, Hannah’s little brother is going places. I see a little Shia LeBouf in him (who starred in “Even Stevens” on Disney himself before box office fame) . Look, ridicule me for the past paragraph at your own peril….but until you’ve been stuck out in the Easy with split better to do than to decide between Disney and Camel Racing (no joke), you ain’t got nothin’ to say to me. Don’t make me but a hill of beans no ways.

I’ve worked 3 weeks straight out here without a single day off. I’m hoping…no…I’m praying…facing East if I have to that I can take a day trip excursion out to the desert here. It’s supposed to be doper than the trap. So, we’ll see by tomorrow afternoon if my dreams truly are inevitably always meant to be shattered. Anyways, I’ve not spent much time in the city out here because I vowed to dedicate myself to working out and studying as much as I could in my free time out here. I plan on taking the PE (Principles of Engineering) Exam at the end of October. So, I figured I needed to put in at least some work on that front while I’m out here. I’ve been more slack than I had hoped, but not nearly as much as I feared. All in all, a success so far.

So, recently I was made aware of the fact that Facebook now limits the amount of characters a user can utilize on status updates (following in Twitter’s footsteps). Truth be told, Facebook’s 420 character limit is still kilometers away from Twitter’s 140…but still. The desecration of the literary ingenuity of the youth, I say. I guess this is how kids want it these days anyways. They want the most results out the least effort. Believe you me, the last adjective you’ll ever hear used to describe me is terse, so maybe I’m a bit biased…but I ain’t exactly keen to implementing abbreviations in the expression of my inconsequential thoughts. Mind you this, though…this is coming from the cat who has never used “LOL”…ever…in any form of viral capacity (other than mocking it). Never. Not even back in those good ‘ol AOL chat room days. Not even in those enlightened times of Juno Email. That’s right, Juno – free dial-up email. That’s old school for you there. It’s ok to secretly admit to yourselves that you don’t know a got damn thing about that. No love lost here. We can still chest bump it out.

What if folks started rocking throwback technologies like they do clothing? What if folks started investing in PCs with 2GB hard drives? What if someone Skyped you using NetZero? What if folks invited everyone over to Duck Hunt? Wii who? What if someone replied to your email using Netscape Navigator? What you cool cats know about that? I done been a dweeb. Climb the stairs…take the elevator…do what you must…but…please…get on my level.

Another thing that irks me is the belligerent use of exclamation marks in peoples’ emails. Anyone who has watched this Seinfeld clip knows what I’m talking about (too, too funny). I, like the exclamation pinchin’ Brownie I am, save my exclamation marks for moments most deserving of ’em. I refuse to mischievously throw them around like a back alley club comedian tossing one liners. Believe you me, when I use an exclamation mark, I mean it. You can most assuredly picture me stating those same words in a higher tone if in person. I ain’t saying…but I’m saying…is alls I’m saying. Ease the pedal off the punctuation, folks. Yeah, yeah…yeah…I know…I know…I’m frighteningly infatuated with apostrophes…so who am I to speak, huh? Well, that ain’t got split to do with emotional interpretation like exclamation marks do. Inference is the result of intent…or…well… it should be.

Anyways, time to hit the snooze. Hopefully, my next post will be from the comfortable confines of my joint in The A.

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