Perspective is something I’ve always tried to maintain throughout my experiences in life. Introspection has me glancing in retrospect to the path I’ve traversed the past decade to be where I’m at right now.
I am officially a homeowner. It hasn’t hit me just yet – and I’m not sure when or even if it will. In the grand scheme of things, I suppose this is a big step for me. When I think of the road traveled to get to this point, I realize that this is quite the comeuppance for me. Normally, I put things in perspective to the balance of the world and realize that my struggles pale in comparison to the incomparable difficulties that others have faced…but not now. Now, for once, I focus on the struggles I’ve endured and difficulties I’ve overcome to get to this point.
I can’t help but think about that giant chip on my shoulder that I discarded (or so I believe) years ago.
For a decade, I’ve supported myself. When I became sixteen , I vowed to myself that I would never again rely on my parents for anything. I can’t even remember the last big purchase my parents have made for me. And by big, I mean over $20. I became independent long before I became a man…or maybe my becoming independent made me a man…chicken and the egg type stuff. Anyone who knows me knows how much pride I have. Charity is something I enjoy giving, but absolutely despise receiving. Am I as convoluted as I seem? Not nearly. But….to steal a line from Jerry Maguire….these are the ABCs of me.
I’ve been paying for my own expenses since I was 16. My financial support was me. I am a self made man. Not to take anything away from my ‘rents, but so much of what I’ve accomplished the past decade is the result of my determination and diligence. I’ve become a decent individual because of my circumstances, not in spite of them. I harbor ZERO resentment. The ash of past memories smoldered against these brown eyes only make me appreciate things more now.
Financial security seemed an impossibility when I was working at Caribou Coffee years ago. I would wake up at 4:30 in the morning to open the joint, work ’til 11am, then head to class for 3 hours at Tech. Then, I’d return to work a few more hours in the afternoon/evenings.
Memories like that are what make me appreciate my current circumstances more. It’s been a rough road. I still can’t exactly fathom or properly comprehend the accelerated path I’ve taken the past year.
Even now, it is difficult for me to gain the proper perspective. When you are so focused on succeeding, you sometimes forget the path you’ve taken to that success. I stopped using my past as a crutch years ago, so it takes some analysis on my part to remember all the trying moments.
And trying moments they were…but I can’t seem to verbalize ’em all right now.
Like I said though…quite the comeuppance for me.