So…my last supper before the Master Cleanse was at Cootie Brown’s. I know…I know…a significantly shitty name. But, lest we not judge so expeditiously….the joint was actually pretty good. Although it resided in the same parking lot as Chili’s, it was substantially different in decor and presented a far more diverse menu. The decor was brighter than Clemson’s horrifically style-deficient home football jerseys. It looked as though a crayon box vomited all over the joint. The waiters and waitresses wore tye-dye shirts while they served food under a roof cluttered with inexpensive, crystal chandeliers nudging each other for space. But…somehow…it worked…at least for me. The odd name, the fashionably deficient decor, and the cheesy intricacies somehow fit. I can’t explain it. Maybe it was because it was one of those places you won’t happen to stumble in but once or twice a year.
How ’bout the food though, you ask? The food was pretty good. And, what I liked most about the ambitious menu was the amount of veggie options it had. I ordered the “Bistro” pizza that had artichokes, spinach, pesto, mozzarella, roasted red peppers, and portabella mushrooms – all atop a grilled whole wheat crust. It wasn’t as delicious as I initially anticipated after ogling at it on the menu, but it was undeniably good. I’m not a huge thin crust fan, but this thin crust pizza was good – and filling. I was also able to get a side of pesto mayo with my fries. Great combination. As of right now, that is my 2nd favorite twist on mayonnaise. The first being the rosemary mayonnaise served at the World Peace Cafe in Sandy Springs.
Anyways, as if I need another reason to be a BEAST, I had the specter of my impending cleanse looming over me. So, your boy straight went to town. I am stuffed. On top of that, I am beginning the first step of my cleanse by sipping on a herbal laxative tea as I fumble my way across my QWERTY homey. I do not like tea. Never have…and probably never will. Yet, I will have to take this every night for the next 10 days. My worst fear about this cleanse is that the taste of the required consumables will not be palatable. But…we’ll see.
Things have been going slower than expected on-site this week (brought to you by the “No-Shit” department of Clyde-Bergemann), so we may be able to skip town as early as tomorrow afternoon. I doubt that, but it is a possibility. It’s funny how our clients schedule us to come out here…but are unprepared to actually test once we arrive. What exactly is the point of that? Shit happens so damn slow on-site. It is maddening how much bottlenecking goes on. So much manpower and time is wasted by inefficiency. That’s the industrial engineer in me softly whispering in my ear. So…what exactly can we do? Wait. Like a defendant awaiting the impending decision of a gridlocked hung jury (well…maybe not THAT bad). We are at the mercy of our clients. Like my old boss “The Wangsta” told me once during my stint at MicroConfusion, “The field of engineering is like pimps and hoes…and we engineers are the hoes.” I kid you not, he did say that. And…you know what? Cat had a point. With so many of our engineers either already traveling or planning to travel these upcoming months (myself included), I guess our company literally can say that “they’ve got hoes…they’ve got hoes…in different area codes…”.
On a lighter note, garba starts this weekend. I hope I can gather some folks to go this Saturday. I only got to go once last year because of travel. Hopefully, it’ll work out a lot better this year. There is NO substitute for the traan-taali or ram janu. None whatsoever. But, they need to retire that 12-step garba. Maybe I’m old school, but they really need to get rid of that. Folks just don’t know how to do it right. And what the hell happened to good ol’ fashioned dandiya-raas? It seems like only the old folks know how to do it now…well…older folks…seeing that I’m one of the founding abuelos of the Old Man Clique.