Stop Making Movies . . .

Stop Making Movies . . .

Dane Cook Sucks

(click on picture to view a website detailing how much Dane Cook sucks)

Will Ferrell, Judd Apatow, Jason Statham, and especially Dane Cook:


Por favor.  Per favore.  Give us us free.

Ever heard of something called overexposure?  Sometimes, you gotta stop kidding yourself and realize the truth:  that you can be exceptional…in infrequent doses.  You don’t ever want to wear out your theatrical welcome.

I mean, Will Ferrell had the industry by it’s cinematic balls after he made Talladega Nights, but did he stop there and chill out for a minute?  Naw playa.  Not even close.  He just came out with a couple of duds (Blades of Glory and Semi-Pro).  His only saving grace was Stranger Than Fiction, which, ironically enough was the most serious movie he’s ever done.  The more I see him, the less funny I think he is.  Chill out for a minute Mr. Ferrell and make people want to see you again.  I guess it’s cool, it’s kosher if you make more movies…but not yet…not yet…

Jason Statham…please stop making action movies.  Death Race?  Really?  Just give it a rest.  You’re the British Vin Diesel…and that ain’t a compliment.   You are a charismatic supporting actor…but a lead action star you are not.

Don’t even get me started on Dane Cook.  He starred (more like crapped) in Good Luck Chuck (aka Good Luck Suck).  Good Luck Chuck!  It got a 3% on Rotten Tomatoes!  I will never get back those 101 minutes of my life.  Dane Cook…listen to me buddy…and listen to me good:  stick to stand-up (which I’m not a big fan of either).  You belong in movies as much as Michael Vick belongs at the Westminster Dog Show (low blow…I know…even by my deplorable standards).

Sometimes, you gotta “know your role”, as The Rock used to say all the time.

Judd Apatow has made some classic comedies over the past few years.  But, in my opinion, the last few have showed signs of regression.  He has a good thing going with his obscene comedies…but he better be careful to not inundate his audiences with bland, unoriginal humor like that exhibited in Pineapple Express.

These Hollywood folks need to realize the damage they are doing to the art of making movies.  Don’t just churn out movies to make money.  Although I can’t say that I would heed my own advice if I was in their positions.  If I could release some cookie-cutter movie that I knew would make 50+ million dollars regardless of the quality of its content, who’s to say I wouldn’t?  Alls I’m saying is think of the craft.  Ya gotta keep the standards high.

16 thoughts on “Stop Making Movies . . .

  1. you must be outside your mind!

    it got a 3% on rotten tomatoes. 3%!

    have you even seen the movie? one of the crappiest movies I’ve seen over the past decade…and I watch Indian movies!

  2. i don’t know how anybody could defend that crapfest of a movie. good luck chuck was terrible! having said that, i am a fan of both JA and dane cook. weird, huh?

    also on the movie-making thing, i don’t think there’s anything wrong with churning out movie after movie, even if they are getting progressively worse. would releasing pineapple express two years from now make it all that better? and also, the quality of the movies judd apatow makes reflect in the box office gross. he’s had four good movies, and all of those made over $100 mil. those that you bash barely made more than $60.

    and jason statham has a niche audience, obviously it does not include you. every movie he’s starred in made exactly the same amount in domestic gross ($30 mil). so i think the movie companies have worked around that to keep him employed for some time to come.

  3. Will Ferrell….correct
    Judd Apatow…..correct
    Dane Cook ……correct
    Jason Statham…

    he knows the genre he should stay in, at least his movies are sequels and not pretending like their a different movie “cough” dane cook. Dont get me wrong, Transporter 2 sucked so bad, but watch Snatch or Lock,Stock & 2 smoking barrels. different plots than driver/action hero.

  4. OKOK so some of their movies suck… but when the gem gets here your gonna thank the stars they didnt listen to you. and fyi jason statham is the sh*t my case in point is the movie chaos… it wasn’t a big action packed thriller but he was AWESOME in it… one of my favorites right there under the italian job.

  5. I don’t agree if they sucked so much they wouldn’t be making movies. But it was a nice try =) and I don’t understand why people put in an effort when they “hate” actors. It’s called jealously, not hate.

  6. Good Luck Chuck was not meant to be a hit. It was another stupid, funny movie, which is what Dane Cook likes to do. I wouldn’t watch it again, but it made me laugh (oh boy did it), so just relax your sacks, okay?

  7. Did I read all this right? Are there people here actually DEFENDING Dane Cook?

    I think I need a nap.

    If you laughed at Dane Cook’s tired antics in Good Luck Chuck, where he exhibited the same character he always plays (the one he plays on stage) and ranked up the douchebaggery to 11, then you may just need a frontal lobotomy. The man steals from multiple other comics, and then finds a way to make the previously funny bit completely unfunny. Note to Dane: YELLING EVERY BIT DOES NOT MAKE IT FUNNY. NOT AT ALL. He comes off as a drunken cookie cutter fratboy who thinks he can sell any story with the volume he delivers it at. OMG antics! Let’s all laugh and clap at his antics! Give me a break.

  8. I agree with the writer. Dane Cook is a hack. He’s not that funny, and he doesn’t even have the wit to write his own material (research Louis C.K. V. Dane Cook).
    As a comedian, he’s not that great. His fans, in a very general sense, don’t know crap about stand up. His movie choices…with the exception of Mr. Brooks, sucked. And I only liked Mr. Brooks because Dane got his throat cut with a shovel!

    Although, Dane Cook did earn his success. He did it the same way that everyone else did it, by working the circuit and travelling, so I can’t begrudge him praises over that.

    But, if you want good stand up, go look somewhere else. Good movies, same deal.

  9. Sucks…..I don’t know Dane is selling out every venue he plays and he’s playing to stadium fulls. I’ve been…..Thousands of people splitting a gut for an hour and a half. If it’s not your schtick it’s not but i don’t think you can say the man is not funny. I plan to go and see him in a couple of months on his newest tour.

  10. this is stupid. why dont you stop focusing on things you hate and give liking things a try. you clearly have no idea how funny dane cook is, considering hes on a global tour at the moment, making people crack up all over the world. and considering he sells out almost every show. you’ve clearly got no sense of humour and for that i hold shame upon you. as for the rest of the actors you bagged, get over it. just because theyre better, funnier actors than you could EVER be doesnt mean you have to say crap about them. you are shunned.

  11. you disgust me. you realize that you were trying to be funny by writing this, but it didn’t even make me so much as giggle. if you want to bag out people for not being funny, make sure you’re funny first. p.s. dane cook is one of the funniest men alive, if he weren’t then why would he sell out arena performances?

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