Feels Good to be Home

Feels Good to be Home

It just feels good to be home. I’m headed back out to Chester, VA next week, so I want to enjoy my week here back at my crib. You know you’ve been gone awhile when you start forgetting where things are in your OWN apartment. It has unfortunately gotten to that point. It always takes me a day or two to readjust to my apartment after being on the road for a couple of weeks.

I got a phone interview with an engineering company tomorrow – I’m a little anxious to see how that will go. I’m really wondering how much I will enjoy doing the same thing I do now for another employer. I am little afraid to find out. I wonder if I could do what I do in a more uptight environment and still enjoy it. I am not really sure to be honest. In general, what we do doesn’t really excite me, but it’s interesting enough and it pays the bills – so I try not to question it too much.

I have this annoyingly short-sighted habit of thinking that I do not have enough time. I always think that I have to do so much in such little time. I am trying to fight that nagging feeling, but it’s hard. It’s hard not to think that I’m getting older and that the longer I defer my dream (whatever that may be), the more I will regret it. I wish that feeling would go away, but I fear that it will gnaw at me until I actually do something to alleviate the doubts and uncertainties that constantly creep in my head.

Again, I’m just glad to be home. It feels good to sleep in my own bed under my own sheets. Next month, I will stay here for a grand total of approximately 8 days in my apartment. 8 days…wow…and remind me again why I moved out? So I could pay rent on an apartment I barely reside in? Wow…a professional nomad I’ve become…It isn’t as glamorous as I thought it would be…There are very few things in life that can replace that “home sweet home” feeling…I have come to learn that inconvenient truth…

What will I do about my brother? I am seriously considering having him live with me so I can straighten him out for a year or two. My parents are doing a mediocre job of raising him – and it ain’t enough. He has to do better in school and he has to mature – and in his sheltered life at home, that ain’t happening. This isn’t exactly the best time for me to consider this. My career is in limbo, I travel every other week, and I have a few trips in the coming months planned. How exactly can I alleviate the situation without being here? I need my parents to step up, but more importantly, for my brother to step up. I don’t care that he’s only 16 years old – he has to mature. I’ve told him one thing that I tell a lot of folks: after a while, it doesn’t matter who or what is right or wrong, all that matters is that you are where you are and you have to deal with it. He has to learn to deal with situations as they arise rather than trying to ascertain blame. He has to act older and more mature than other kids his age. If he doesn’t, he will get swallowed whole by life and circumstances. I fear that he WILL NOT learn any of this living at home with my parents. He listens to me – that much I know. I’m not really sure how I’m going to handle this situation and what kind of resolution I can reach.

I miss my sandals – I didn’t take them with me to VA. Honestly, what in this world would I do without my sandals? That’s a life deprived that I don’t want to imagine…

I finished “The Alexandria Link” yesterday on the plane back to Atlanta. The book had a similar theme to “The Davinci Code”, but it didn’t deliver as well. The dialogue was uncreative and the story kind of became terse and mundane at the midpoint of the book. I contemplated not finishing it, but decided that I had read too much to not finish it. Now, I move on to “The Kite Runner” – I heard some good things about that book. I think that every time I fly now (which seems to be frequently), I’m going to take a book to read. I promised myself that I would read more over the past few years, but just never really got around to it (save Sports Illustrated and TIME magazine). I think that all this traveling gives me a perfect opportunity to actually make good on that promise.

Let me reiterate, it feels GOOD to be home.

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