A few posts ago, I wrote about a friend of mine who was in a troubled relationship – one in which I feared that I would have to be the mediator/whistle blower. I found myself backed into a corner in which I could only emerge with the inquisition and exploitation of truth. I didn’t want to have to do what I knew I had to do. A few hours ago, I received a phone call from that very friend telling me that he had ended his year and a half relationship with his significant other. His announcement spared me from having to ask difficult and uncomfortable questions to very close friends. To be honest, a part of me was relieved knowing that I wouldn’t have to embroil myself in any incessant turbulence. I was also relieved because I think that my friend deserved better – to be bluntly honest. He basically informed me that the reason he broke up with his girlfriend was because she was withholding a lot of information from him. Over the past few months, I’ve been privy to hearing more hearsay and rumors than I’ve heard in seemingly my entire life. There was a lot of negative back and forth banter between folks. A lot of it was centered in propaganda directed at my friend’s girl.
Maybe there was a part of me that didn’t want to believe that this girl could possibly be even a fraction as conniving as she was being portrayed by various associates of mine. Maybe, just maybe, I’m too optimistic of a person. I believe in the good of people and just cannot believe the levels to which people stoop to manipulate others. My friend did not get into the details, nor did I ask him to, but he essentially told me that he learned of irrefutable truths that he could not tolerate. I don’t know, but I don’t think she was ever right for him; and I think for a long time, he was understandably blinded by love. I really believe that this was the best possible scenario for him – he is a good cat and deserves better. He doesn’t deserve a manipulative, immature girl. As harsh as that sounds, it is true. He is a pure hearted person that doesn’t deserve to be led astray, misinformed, or lied to. I’m just glad that he got out of it now before they got too serious (they weren’t engaged nor planning a marriage).
A part of me is glad to have him back too – I too often was left feeling that he and his girlfriend were a package deal – as though we could never have one without the other. She is emotional and immature and he is laid back and responsible – I think that it wasn’t a good fit from the inception. I think that she took a backward approach to being with him – she tried to be his ideal woman. She knew in her heart that her past and what she was about was not enough to attract him, so she started to fabricate an identity that she felt would appease and attract him. She told many untruths and not enough of the truth – and that was ultimately her downfall. I hope that she does not do anything stupid like commit suicide or anything – she is liable to do that. I know her enough to know that her entire world seemed to revolve around the axis of her boyfriend. I pray that she can get through this with her sanity intact. I also got this uneasy feeling that she will do everything at any cost to get back at her now ex-boyfriend. She is the type of immature female that is perfectly in her comfort zone playing games.
But, like I told my friend, he did what he had to do. He can’t worry about the ramifications of his action. He made the only logical and rational choice – and if she can’t handle it, tough luck – as cold-hearted as it sounds. I respect the way he went about this. It is very commendable the way he has handled this and how he has tried to patch up the misinterpretations and conflicts created by his girl. This will be a tough time for him, but he will survive and he will thrive – he is a strong, level-headed person. I have very little, if any, doubt that he will be fine.