The Son of Sam

The Son of Sam


I got a co-worker who isn’t, let’s say, the most sane of people that I know. This cat has an anger problem. He will pop off at any time and any moment. The slightest convolution of details can send this man over the edge of rationality and patience. I’m telling you – it is very uncomfortable at times being in the same room as him. I’m dead serious when I say that this guy fits the profile of a serial killer – I mean, I’m not saying he is, it’s just that his characteristics and mannerisms fit the profile. If you just met him, you would probably think he is the sweetest and kindest guy you’ve ever met – but the minute his comfort zone is breached or his patience is tested, he will start cursing like a maniacal loony and start yelling “Cmon Sam!”. I never understood why he says, “Cmon Sam!” – I tried to wikipedia it thinking that it might be some colloquial phrase or something, but I found nothing. I even tried to look it up on the holy grail of all online dictionaries – The Urban Dictionary – and found nothing. Who the hell is Sam??? This is a mystery that I will regrettably probably never solve. It is some odd shit.

Ever heard of the serial killer dubbed “Son of Sam” that terrorized New York City in the late ’70s? I guess the main thing (and probably only thing) that my co-worker has in common with the real Son of Sam is the whole “Sam” thing, but hey, I’m free to draw whatever parallels I so choose. Let’s just say that I wouldn’t be at all surprised if my co-worker came in with loaded clips and AKs ready to shoot up this mother-lovin’ joint we call a power plant. I ain’t saying, but I’m saying – is all I’m saying. Clearly, I am exaggerating (over dramatizing just a little) – but hey, you never know…you never know… I’m going to now reference my serial-killer/crazy co-worker as “Son of Sam” for the rest of this post…hey, if the shoe fits…

I’ve heard this guy was a lot worse before though. I heard he once rear ended a car on the highway because the guy overtook him. I’m telling you – this cat has some crazy tendencies! I’m more accustomed to it than some of my other co-workers, because I’ve worked out here in VA mostly with him. I got this one Korean co-worker (aka Young Woozy aka Young Floozy aka Secret Santa aka Secret Service) who is very conservative and reserved, and he feels extremely uncomfortable being in the same room with the Son of Sam. I feel bad for that guy. I mean, I guess I’m a little more adjusted to the Son of Sam’s constant tirades and temper tantrums.

I think that the Son of Sam has taken steps to working on his anger issues, but it still rears its ugly head all the time. I’m telling you, this man at times does not appear to be sane. He even looks like a serial killer – he’s white, drives a Scion, is reserved, talks very deliberately, and is bald but has a ponytail. It is a weird combo – he even told me that he’s been pulled over in suspicion of illegal drugs because he just looks like he’s up to no good. I don’t know about all that, but I do know that it is uncomfortable being around him whenever he pops off. I actually drove up with him to VA a few times and it was, to say the least, interesting. Boy, oh boy, this cat is at his inconvenient worst when he drives. This man has a serious case of road rage. Another co-worker of mine jokes that one day somebody is just going to get out of their car and pop a cap in this man’s cranium – at least I think he was joking. I wouldn’t put that past happening though – I can see the Son of Sam pissing the wrong hombre off. Let’s just hope that the Son of Sam is strapped too.

When he isn’t frustrated, angry, or pissed off beyond all hell – he actually is a decent dude to be around. But man, man oh man, when he blows a fuse – take cover homey, take cover from the temperamental debris and the consequential aftermath of frustration and dissatisfaction.

Maybe it’s just a huge difference in personality. I’m more laissez-faire and rational whereas he is more psycho and emotional. I’m more than used to it by now, but I can’t help thinking sometimes that the Son of Sam has more than a few screws loose rattling around in his head (I mean, he ain’t crazy or nothing, it’s just that he can’t control himself sometimes).

UPDATE: Upon blogging this post, no more than a half hour later, the Son of Sam and I went out to Taco Bell for lunch. On the way there, we approached a red light. We were behind two cars when the light turned green. There was an 18-wheeler ahead of us that took a very wide and slow right turn. Consequently, we were left having to take a right at a red light. To most folks, this doesn’t sound like a big deal (and believe you me, I don’t think it is either), but the Son of Sam became livid. He raised his voice and started swearing and then saying something along the lines of “YOU GOTTA MAKE THAT TURN QUICKER, JACK!” and he threw in a “FUCK!” and a “SON OF A BITCH!” intermittently too. Who the hell is this new guy Jack? At least Sam’s got company I guess. Maybe it’s more ‘roid rage than road rage…

UPDATE 2: It is roughly 9:30 in the evening and the Son of Sam has struck again. He was fiddling around with his computer when something went amiss and he went loco again. He doesn’t exactly know what went wrong, but he is pissed. He is getting all riled up and blaming the engineer who designed the little buttons on his computer (apparently he clicked on the wrong one). This guy, this guy!!! He has already went loco like 4 times today – and I’m living with the guy! Before, we had our own hotel rooms so after work, I didn’t see much of him, but now, I’m going to pretty much be around the Son of Sam 24/7. Damn it Chloe! I mean, he doesn’t even give a shit that I’m in the same living room with him – he still bitches like crazy. Man, I don’t know about this arrangement…

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