Why is it that when you so badly DO NOT want to be the center of attention, people insist on making you just that? My birthday is next week (December 30th), but since my sister’s wedding is taking place on that day and since the entire week is going to be crazy bananas, my friends decided to celebrate my birthday this weekend. I mean, I know they had great and innocent intentions, but I didn’t want this weekend to be about ME. I didn’t want that at all. It’s not like I didn’t want to celebrate my birthday, it’s just that I knew that if we did that, then the spotlight would be on me and everyone would be focused on me. Maybe I’ve just become so accustomed to being selfless that I am nearly incapable of being selfish now – I don’t know. I mean, I know it probably comes off as me being painfully stubborn and overwhelmingly difficult, but I don’t mean it to be that way. I just have this thing about me that makes it hard for me to receive things. People kept asking me what I wanted to do, but I really didn’t care. I just wanted everyone to have a good time.
Is that that hard to understand? Why can’t I solely exist in the presence of relevant company? I don’t want to stand out or be focused on. I think that people have a hard time of understanding that you really don’t give a shit what you do, so long as you do something. I can understand though I guess, sometimes you want to really go out of your way and do something special for someone, and when that person is somewhat indifferent or aloof about that, you can misinterpret that. Sometimes, you find yourself wanting to give the world to someone, wanting to make sure that that person is fully taken care of. And if that person is nondescript about what he/she wants to do, then you take that as a slight. Haven’t you ever wanted to give everything to someone who demanded nothing? I guess that can kind of explain it in a roundabout way.
The hilariously hipocritical thing though about me is that I want to make sure that everyone’s bdays and/or accomplishments are celebrated in style and that that specific person is made to feel special. And I know deep down that that is all my friends want to do for me too sometimes, but I admittedly make it so much harder for them to do that. I got to let my pride down, quell my stubborness, or do something that will not make me come off as somewhat of an asshole or a hipocrite. I mean, like I said, I absolutely feel that is necessary to celebrate everyone, but I myself hate being celebrated. Why am I so difficult sometimes?
Anyways, on Friday we started off the night by going to the SweetWater Brewery in Atlanta. Now, for 8 bucks, you get about 3-4 glasses of beer and a glass cup embossed with the SweetWater logo. Pretty cool stuff. We stayed there about an hour, just sipping on beer and acting a fool. So, needless to say, that was a great start to the evening. After that, we went to an Irish Pub in Underground Atlanta. The pub itself was ok – it looked like it was normally a fun spot to hang out – but when we got there, it wasn’t so banging. But it didn’t really matter all that much, because me and my peoples (my boys and my family) were there and we were sipping on beer and margaritas. So, after we were done there, we headed over to Opera Nightclub in Midtown Atlanta.
Now, this place, I’ve previously been to – back when it was called 1150. Now, this place used to be pretty damn nice, but now, it’s even more aesthetically pleasing. It literrally does resemble an opera house on the inside. It’s very difficult to describe, but it’s just one of those places that makes you feel as though you are NOT in Atlanta – maybe like you’re in New York or somewhere else. Either way, the place is nice. And I guess it didn’t hurt that my self-proclaimed unreliable co-worker actually showed up and partied with us. I thought it was real cool of her to show up. Anyways, we all drank a little, danced a little, and just enjoyed our lives for an entertaining fleeting moment. We got a little loud (as always), got a little crazy (not unexpectedly), and acted a damn fool. It was good times.
I’m realizing more and more that the club just doesn’t do it for me like it used to – I mean, I guess it’s natural seeing that I’m turning 25, but I think that I really notice the disparity in optimism and anxiety I feel now in going to the club. But, once in a while, it’s still fun. I guess I’m maturing, getting older, or something. I’m more about just chilling and enjoying the company of folks that are relevant to me. I think I truthfully enjoy watching Sunday Night Football with my boys more than engaging in shenanigans at a recreational establishment like a nightclub. I’ve changed – and I don’t mind it.
Anyways, Friday night was a lot of fun and a few close friends showed their faces – so, I would consider that a great night. I mean, being around people that actually give a shit about you is inexplicable and irreplaceable. What more do you need in life besides that?
Anyways, Saturday was a little more laid-back. A friend from the MIA came in town and spent that evening with us. It was good to see her and it seemed like she had a really good time. I mean, she was even talking shit – mad shit when we were bowling, but that’s good, because that let me know that she felt comfortable with everyone. Anyways, I hope we showed her a decent enough time and that we left enough of a positive impression on her to make appearances more often. Like I always say to folks, “Don’t be a stranger”. Good company, I reiterate, is hard to find.
Anyways, last night we started it off by going to a Mexican restaurant in Decatur (Los Bravos) and then ended the evening by going bowling. Now, as far as bowling goes, I have my moments – dissapointing and exhilarating. Last night was an exact microcosm of that – my first game, I bowled something like a 73 and then my second game, I bowled a 160 (sort of – the computer screwed up my score at the end). I mean, I was booowwwlllliinnnnggggg on my second game. I was, to say the least, BEASTING. Regardless, that was the best score I’ve ever registered at bowling, so maybe I can build on this and dominate again next time….Or I could continue the shitty, inconsistent play. I wouldn’t put either scenario past me. Anyways, that’s neither here nor there. I’m also willing to make privy the details of something else that went down. What went down was that I spanked that ass of my MIA acquaintance – which I vowed to do, so I guess I can place a check next to that box. But she did beat me in the first game, so I guess we’re even. I anticipate a final match to the death next time. A score has to be settled. The time for decency and sportsmanship has fluttered away with the winter breeze.
Anyways, after bowling, we came back to the crib and got a little loud and a little overzealous – but honestly, what’s new about that?
So, the weekend that was was a great weekend that was. I don’t ask for much and I received so much more. I rarely let folks know how much they mean to me and stuff, but it meant a lot that folks showed up and had a good time the entire weekend. All I even really wanted for my birthday was for folks to have a good time. That definitely happened, but in the midst of the chaos of folks further advancing their knowledge and wherewithal of having a damn good time, I found myself enjoying myself just as much. For the most part, if they’re happy and having a good time, then I’m happy and having a good time. Simple enough.