Instantaneous Ruminations

Instantaneous Ruminations

Just got done watching L’Auberge Espagnole (Spanish Apartment). A good movie that brought back so many memories of mine from my trip to Europe a few years back and my semester stint as a foreign exchange student in Valencia, Spain. Was it really only a few years ago when I went backpacking through Europe? Was it less than 5 years ago that I studied in Spain for a semester? Why do the best memories seem so distant and the worst so recent? Odd. It’s funny how the human mind works. There is probably some psychological explanation to that – but it can’t be sufficed at the moment. The movie was about a French exchange student in Barcelona who rooms with 5 other students of different ethnicities. It’s an interesting movie and really made me reminisnce on a few experiences of mine abroad. Honestly, where would I really be as a person if those experiences never happened? Would I be as wise? As open-minded? Cultured? I really don’t know.

On a side note, Barcelona was one of the favorite cities that I went to. I would recommend anyone within the vicinity of Spain to visit that city. There is something uniquely vibrant and exhuberant about the city of Barcelona. The city seems to emanate recreation and leisure. I loved my experiences there. I sometimes wish I had studied in Barcelona instead of Valencia – it might’ve tickled my fancy just a little bit more maybe…I don’t know.

Anyways, last night was fun – I went to a latin club (Loca Luna) in the city to meet up a few folks who were celebrating some accolade or accomplishment (I think it was a graduation celebration or something along those lines). I drank a little and danced just enough to know that I have to brush up on my salsa. It feels as though I hadn’t done that in forever. If only I had a dance partner….

I even found myself rambling incessantly in Spanish to a Lebanese girl who abruptly stopped me and told me that she didn’t have a flippin’ two cents of an idea of what I was talking about. I guess I just assumed she was Hispanic. She sure did look the part – then again, I was mistaken by some guy at the bar for a Brazilian. So, I guess I can understand.

On a more somber (and “reality can be a biatch”) note – the sister of a very close associate of mine has gone missing. She has been gone for a week. She is halfway-sane and has done this before – only to return within a few days. But this feels uncomfortably different; she has now been missing for over 5 days. So, me and a few friends gathered together and scoured the streets of the A in search of some information that would help us in locating her whereabouts. All we could do was leave “Missing Person” bulletins everywhere and ask for everyone’s cooperation in helping to find her. I mean, I haven’t felt this helpless in a while. I mean, she is somewhere in Atlanta – maybe. That is where she was last seen.

Now, this associate of mine – this man got nerves of steel and iron in his veins. He has been living in a house filled with women who are not of sane mind – and yet, he has remained sane and has thrived in spite of his domestic disparities. I mean, I’ve always wondered at how the hell he turned out so normal in the midst of so much uncontrollable chaos. I mean, this guy is STRONG-minded. My family and I have always marveled at the quiet strength of my associate. I mean, how can you go through life being dealt an unfair hand and never question it or not even once bitch about it to others? My problems are miniscule and entirely insignificant in comparison to his – and I try to always put my issues in perspective. His dad has been through incomparable drama, heartache, and multiple near-tragedies. His dad has been shot multiple times on multiple occasions and he has had to deal with the diminshed sanity of 3 out of the 4 women in his life (wife and 2 daughters). I have ZERO idea as to how he has done it.

I consider myself to be a strong-minded and optimistic person, but I don’t think I could’ve dealt with it as well as he has – shit, I don’t even know If I could’ve dealt with that at all. We are all human personifications of Atlas with the world on our shoulders when things make sense and when we are surrounded by normalcy – but how strong are we really when the very world which we’ve carried on our shoulders for so long begins to crumble? We will NEVER know until we bear that impossibly dense burden. I am worried about the missing girl. There are too many things that can go wrong and too many people who are looking to take advantage of an innocent person for me to rest easy. The more the days go by, the more I suspect the worst. I am desperately trying to stay optimistic, but I know that as the more time passes, so does my faith and hope in a positive resolution. But, I don’t bear the brunt of the real burden and painstaking suspense like my associate does. In that, he suffers alone. I can only offer my support and do whatever I can do to make sure this episode has a happy ending. I pray that she will turn up safe and turn up soon. I am petrified of the contrary. That family has already suffered enough.

Reality can be a cruel, relentless, and unforgiving bitch sometimes.

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