Mexican Fugazi

Mexican Fugazi

Franchise Mexican food is fugazi (not authentic). Now, a Folex (fake, bootleg Rolex) is the perfect example of a fugazi. It is a phony posing as a real. It is a cheap knockoff that is supposed to resemble the real thing. Franchise Mexican food is a horrible facade of bland, stereotypically incorrect, overpriced food. How can they get it so wrong?? Is it really that hard to knock off Mexican food on a mass scale??? I mean, it is NOT that complicated. Not only is franchise Mexican food fugazi, it is of limited quality. I HATE franchise Mexican establishments. I especially dislike a Mexican restaurant that has ZERO Mexicans working there. This has ENTIRELY everything to do with the quality of the food. I have found that franchises such as On the Border and Don Pablo’s offer tasteless food of less than mediocre quality. I mean, it is completely for the middle-class, non-cultured American. How can these franchise Mexican restaurants be so popular?? Have people never visited a Mexican restaurant of smaller scale??

The salsa at a Mexican restaurant has to be of high quality – because it is the one thing you will eat the most of during your meal. That is highly attributed to the fact that it is free and unlimited. Either way, the salsa has to be of high quality and so do the chips. When that isn’t good, it only foreshadows a disastrous meal. As soon as I entered Don Pablo’s, the salsa was served to us along with greasy, oversized tortilla chips. The salsa looked and tasted like ketchup. I do give the restaurant some credit – the salsa looked as if it came out of the can and the restaurant did very little to deceive us in that manner. It looked crappy and it was. Notice the sarcastic tone?? I ordered cheese and onion enchiladas with a sour cream sauce over them and a bean taco. The plate came with black beans and rice. The food was horrible. The enchilada was dry and confused. I mean, there was more cheese on the outside than inside and all the onions were on the outside. There seemed to be shredded cheese melted over the top of it and stuffed inside the enchilada. I also had a soft taco whose shell was more hard than soft – it seemed as though they fried the taco shell. The black beans were dry and I had to stir them around a little to liquefy them (NEVER a good thing). The best part of the meal was the Sprite I ordered. News flash: whenever the beverage is the best part of the meal, that is a sign of the culinary apocalypse.

This experience made me shudder and filled my mind with an eerie sense of deja vu from my recent dining experience at On the Border. I mean, if you try so hard to appear like an authentic Mexican restaurant and fail so miserably, why even try?? I mean, if you are so crappy at emulating something, shouldn’t it be obvious to you how embarrassingly unsuccessful and futile your attempt is?? I always thought that when you suck at something, eventually it would become obvious. Then again, American idol has completely shattered that theory. PLEASE, PLEASE if you are reading this, heed my advice and NEVER AGAIN frequent another franchise Mexican restaurant (do not worry – Frontera is fine). There are people out there who know nothing but franchise food, but please, open your eyes and satisfy your hunger at a local Mexican joint.

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