Imitation is the greatest form of flattery, and in the same mold as Sport Illustrated “Who’s hot, Who’s not”, this blog marks the beginning of my weekly Pimpin’ and Simpin’ which will identify those in the world of sports and entertainment who have either shown some sort of intelligence in their craft (Pimps) or those who have exhibited stupidity and/or futility in their craft (Simps) over the course of last week.
Reggie Bush – Did he do what we saw him do? Did he just metamorphize the opposition into a collegiate squad? In one play, he showed the speed and explosiveness that made him one of the most gifted and elusive collegiate players of the last 15 years. “Can’t do it in the pros, it isn’t college anymore” was the knock against him. News flash, if you can ball, you can ball, regardless of the opponent and/or level of competition.
Chipper Jones and Matt Diaz – Larry Wayne Jones went off in his second game back from the DL. He blasted 3, count them 3, homeruns against the Washington Nationals. Just when you thought he was losing it, didn’t have it anymore, he goes off like this. I can just hear the frustrated screams of those fantasy owners who traded him away when he went on the DL. Who would’ve expected Matt Diaz to set history? Against the Washington Nationals (in the same game that Chipper homered thrice), Diaz tied the NL record for most consecutive hits with 10. He is a bonafide player and deserves to be out there playing more for the Atlanta Braves. Cmon’ Bobby, you gotta give that man some more PT!
Detroit Tigers – 5 losses in a row. Enough said. They were swept by their division rivals; the Chicago White Sox. It isn’t time to panic just yet, but don’t be surprised to see a few of those Tigers biting their nails. How will they react to this adversity?
Brett Favre and Aaron Brooks – In a week of preseason NFL games where so many star quarterbacks played well (Brady, Vick, Manning, etc.), Brett Favre and Aaron Brooks (5/10 and 1/6 passing) showed why many think they should not be starting in the NFL this year. Neither did anything impressive and had little impact on the outcome of the games. I know it’s preseason, but cmon, how can you suck that bad??? What’s the over/under on Randy Moss stamping the Randy Ratio on Brook’s forehead by midseason? He better keep his star WR happy.
Terrorists – The terrorists definitely had to be the biggest simps of the week. Once again, another plot of theirs, another planned attack, was discovered and more than 20 arrests were made in a plan to attack the US with 10 planes, in which they were allegedly going to create bombs using a British sports drink, an ipod, and a few other liquid substances. In leiu of all this, we aren’t allowed to take any more liquids onto an airplane, not even water, no coke, nada. In addition, hair gel, shampoo, etc. isn’t allowed either. I foresee a future in which bombs will be made out of the fabric of clothes and we will all be forced to fly naked (not such a bad alternative if you’re flying Hooters Air)….SERENITY NOW!!